Leadership 2

Friday:

Don, Derek, Cameron and I abduct Johnny at his place of work and drag him to SAWS. We get to the hotel and start slamming AfterShock and Raspberry Mojitos like drunken nancy-boys with a vendetta against good taste and any sense of decency. Highlights include getting chased from room to room by hotel security pursuing noise complaints, getting body-slammed by the Colonel for no discernible reason (which is, of course, always the BEST reason), and slapping Mikey DuBois in the face because he complained about not liking Bacardi poured on his head (what a cunt!). Low-lights include  spending the next 12 hours vomiting uncontrollably into anything resembling a waterproof container (ice-buckets, garbage-cans, and even <GASP> a toilet-bowl) and also needing to have most of those events retold to me by a dozen different witnesses because I had no memory of them. Ugh.

Saturday:

Round One
Not able to quit vomiting in time for round one. Don pays my SAWS entrance fee, Derek calls me at noon to wake me up, Johnny play my first game (draw!), and Dave drags my pathetic ass out of the hotel room and drives me to the tournament. I repay Dave's kindness by not vomiting all over his car's newly-cleaned interior. I figure since I've already wrecked my chances I'll just hang-out, enjoy a couple of low-pressure games, and cheer on the rest of the team.

Round Two
William Pacheco's Wood Elves. I regain consciousness on turn four and admire William's newly finished army (I did not know Barbarians could actually finish painting anything!) then promptly realize that he is wiping me off the table with it. So, in a ridiculous display of luck and desperation, I whip up some ghosts with Wind of Undeath to sweep away his Wardancers, Van Hel's in some ghouls to break a Treeman and Dryads, and re-deploy to contest some board quarters and scoop up the 600+ points needed to secure a tie. Tie in William's advantage 1015vp to 1035vp. William is the nicest guy and knows his WE tactics. He totally out-maneuvered me, out-smarted me, and hands down out-played my hung-over ass. I limped away from the table feeling like I'd been gang-banged mercilessly by pterodactyls.

Round Three
Colonel Sanders' Dark Elves. **See Colonel's battle report**. Sobering up now I try to get all tricksy and get a dragon in my flank for my efforts. It kills my lord after eight grueling combat rounds, but I am somehow able to slaughter every last elf on the table before my army crumbles to dust. I win 3050vp to 1550vp. Revenge tastes sweet and I forgive Colonel for body-slamming my drunk ass the night before. 

Evening
We stuff ourselves at Buca and see District 9. I pledge to quit drinking hard alcohol before game days for ONE FULL YEAR.

Sunday:

Round Four
Craig Hunter's Savage Orcs. Craig had a perfect max comp Orc list... WITH savage frenzy, immune to psychology, ward saves, massive Black orcs, and general mass WAAAGH carnage. I get lucky and start rolling down Craig's flanks on both sides of his battle-line and he surrenders on turn two. 3950vp? to 48vp. One of the truest sportsmen in the whole tournament system, Craig still packs as much good-natured fun into two rounds as most players do in six.

Round Five
TJ Crain's High Elves. TJ is the guy who "intimidated" Brad Feliz into fleeing from QCR09, so he is already super-awesome in my book and we should probably give him a lifetime free admittance to QCR! He has a decently hard army with a tricked out lord on StarDragon, Lion Chariots, and a fat unit of Dragon Knights with BSB (+D6 to combat res!). He goes vampire hunting and rams them all down my throat. I respond with ridiculous Van Hel's madness and kill every model in his army by turn four without giving up a single victory point... 3050vp to 0vp. Epic moments include TJ's Star Dragon and lord dealing ONE wound in a challenge with a Ghast, losing combat by 4 (ranks, number, flank), then fleeing only four inches and being hideously run down and eaten by hungry ghouls! Thank you Colonel for teaching me (the hard way) how to deal with Dragons. TJ is a really cool guy and I owe him more beers than I could ever count for being such a good sport as his dice abandoned him at every turn.

Awards Ceremony
My army receives the Player's Choice award!! That means voted for my ghoulies in spite of me probably insulting and physically insulting most of them on Friday night. It seemed like the judges were taking a long time to calculate the final results. It looked like they were re-entering the results, checking their math, and debating with each other. All our questions were answered when they revealed that somehow, totally unexpectedly and against all the laws of nature, mathematics, and human decency... they were forced to not only hand over the SAWS Best Overall trophy to LD2 for the fifth year in a row... but right into my filthy grubby little hands! BWA-HA-HA. I immediately start rethinking my whole "no drinking" pledge as I laugh my ass off. The LD2 crew heads over to Chevy's and I start drinking Mexican beer.

Apart from my self-inflicted gut destruction, the whole tournament went off without a hitch. As much as we might give the SAWS guys a hard time and don't see eye-to-eye with their comp system, I have to admit they do run smooth tournament and their gamer-hearts are in the right place. Plus, they totally could have been hard-asses and disqualified me for being a jack-ass... but they rose above it and were damn generous.

This was a team effort if I have EVER seen one. The win belongs to Johnny, Dave, Don, Derek, and the entire team for covering my pathetic lame ass and whipping it into shape!

-Ed